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In the whirlwind of life

In the whirlwind of life

It’s been months since I’ve taken the time to come and sleep here. I missed time, life and its intense moments won! The last article I wrote here is from May and the post-contest period. I had the pill to swallow and my family to find. So I took about 6 months to come back. Maybe it’s time to give you some news? 😉 So I drop my class on the theories of learning and I tell you more.

I am busy, overwhelmed, but also motivated and enthusiastic. Summer has gone at a crazy speed. A whirlwind of ballads, getaways, barbecue, watered nights, small pleasures, sharing with the people we love … The whirlwind of life as Jeanne said! We laughed, we loved, we ate, we had fun. It had been months since I had deprived myself of this social life that I love so much. So this summer, it was without deprivation and I followed the adage of my favorite novel: Eat, Pray, Love. I needed this time to refocus, to find myself too. I affirmed my choices after having posed on papers dozens and dozens of questions.

Today, I am still carried away. In fact, since September. No since June! I do not stop. I found my taste for living, sharing, enjoying and all intensely. I would not have believed it 3 years ago. I have advanced and it feels good to look a little back to see how far we have come.

I took the bull by the horns after the encouragement of my relatives to embark on a new preparation for the contest. I do not give up. I am exactly where I should be when I am in a classroom, facing students. I trust my choice. My skills and knowledge are built a little more each day. And for that, I also registered in Master MEEF. Ok, technically, it’s hot! I have to be honest, I spend my time juggling between classes, the prep school’s duty, children, school life and out of school, couple life, social life … I do not have a minute to myself, except the night for regenerate myself physiologically. Surprisingly, I wish! This whirlwind of physical and cerebral activity takes me away and stimulates me. I’m having fun ! And pumin, that it’s good!

Obviously, I will lie to you if I told you that there are never any quacks! I lost in the tide some friendships, I lost a few grams too (but it was not luxury after the winter / summer, do not scratch the mention useless;)). I sorted through my papers, ideas and projects. KonMari just has to stand!

Children adapt well to this fast pace. Largely thanks to the Lover who officially transformed into Tony Michelli! He manages children, baths, shopping, housework, planning and other domestic activities like a chef! I would say that he blossomed in this new role but shh, he has not yet realized! My Zebrelle blossoms in school and music. She passed that difficult course she was looking for. She knows it and she says it (O joy of adolescence that shows up!). My viking manages his anger better and learns to channel himself into his activities. And the last, hurricane or bustle of choice, is indomitable in the crisis of 3 years. It is therefore a pleasure to do the police constantly and alternate cropping and sharing! In fact, my family is a happy mess, let’s be clear! But I stop more and more to look at them and smile stupidly saying: Flutin, that I love my life! (yes, I like pumin and goblin, but astudy said that smart people said a lot like that!)

So this is it. The year 2016-2017 was one more page and 2017-2018 starts with a big fanfare! The objective of this year is to validate the Master 1, to celebrate the social events with dignity, to lose another 5 kilos and to raise my points at the next test of the contest. What? I do not intend to have it this time? Well, but I do not put pressure on myself anymore, as I did last year. I know what I want to do, what I will do but it will happen in due course, I am sure. Meditation helps me remember it when I’m in a panic about the mountain of work! : D

In short, I changed my habits, confirm my projects, and upset my way of seeing life! The burn out is definitely behind me and this despite some doubts (but doubt a little, is it not essential to take a step back and move forward?). I am more active on Instagram than on the blog or Facebook . I post according to my desires, my moods, my readings. I took the pleasure of doing When I want, Where I want!

So, see you soon here or there! 😉

Do not regret anything

Do not regret anything

Yesterday, I waited for weeks or months. I was exhausted even to wait. The frustration was there for many. Given on two tests of 4 hours what we learn for months, it’s frustrating. So inevitably, the announcement of the results or rather the non presentation of my little name in the list of eligible has pained me. Ok, I cried in my husband’s arms like a child! Disappointment, tension, frustration, then relief. The little ball that had been nestled in my belly for months flew away. The tensions that held my shoulders tight relaxed. It did not erase the sadness, but at last I knew. I think that’s the worst thing. Not knowing. Yet, I sincerely believe this morning: there is nothing to regret.

This year has been captivating, revealing, intense. I succeeded where I did not feel strong enough. I won many small battles. I went to the burn out! And that is priceless !

Two years ago, I was prostrate, at the bottom of the bucket as they say. I had no taste and faith in anything. Even taking care of my children was difficult! Self-confidence and self-esteem were close to the temperature in the Arctic. I had negative certainties and distorted by this state.

I had hit the bottom, I could only go back up. And it was hard, painful and long. Today, with this test of my failure to write PERC, I know that I have won many things.

At the school level already, I was gifted French but a strain in maths. I had a deplorable level and I was clearly dreading the moment when I would have to help my daughter with her homework. Today, by dint of patience and tenacity, I raised my level. Of course, it is not enough for me to pass the eligibility threshold, but today, I know what I’m capable of, I know it’s not insurmountable. I’m almost good at math! 🙂

On a professional level, I made the point. I had doubts, important questions and recurring. Having taken distance courses led me to do internships. Confront myself with the practice. Confront myself with a reality on the ground. Confront myself with my doubts, my ambitions too. I was lucky to be surrounded by caring people. They know it, I’ve already told them how much their support and advice have been valuable to me.

On a personal level, this has been a revolution. I took on myself, I overcame my anxieties (some, not all either;)). I saw myself fulfilled, smiling despite the workload to stall in a sustained pace of life. Working with my children including two children was a real challenge. Another organization is expected to release me real time revisions and real family time, not a little bit of each which has given me times of revisions against productive. I could see that I had a real ability to adapt even if I did not manage in situation. But here again I learned. I know that for next year, I will have to work on this. Do not apologize for being here. I have my place as much as others and surprisingly, this failure of yesterday made me understand it.

So here, I have not managed to pass the bar of the writings to a few small points but I do not give up. For me and all my relatives and teachers who also accompany me. This year has been dense but rich. Rich in smiles, in human relations, in small victories, and that’s all I’ll keep in mind to move forward.

I will be able to resume more regularly the path of the blog. Writing here had missed me terribly! I’m a little scared of having time in front of me, I had lost the habit! 😉 I will take a few weeks to enjoy my loved ones, go see those friends who accepted my silences without complaint and who supported me, near and far. I will prepare our next vacation in Ré Bonheur. I’m going to relieve my husband at home, who has taken almost everything in his care to help me. I will enjoy my Zebrelle and improve our relationship. I will bounce and go … in a few days;)

Thank you for all your words so kind and so kind. Despite my silences, you have been there every step of the way, to encourage me and boost me. This blog is an inexhaustible source of beautiful surprises and exchanges! Will you accompany me for a new test in 2018? 😉